Will this relationship last? Signs of the future you should look out for when you first start dating
Hello! I'm John, a blog writer specializing in health and money.
The beginning of a relationship is exciting and really fun, isn't it? Every day seems to shine, and you may think, "I wish this time could last forever..." But at the same time, at times, have you ever had a small moment of anxiety cross your mind, wondering, "Will this relationship with this person really last?"
In fact, according to experts,The early stages of a relationship hold many clues about whether it will last.That's right.
Today, I will explain in an easy-to-understand way even for beginners what to look out for in the early stages of a relationship to help you predict your future. Let's check the state of your relationship just like a medical checkup!
Why are the early days of a relationship so important?
What do you think is the most important thing when building a house?"Foundation"That's right. No matter how fine a house you build, if it doesn't have a solid foundation, it will eventually lean.
The same is true in romantic relationships. The early stages of a relationship are the time to build the foundation for your relationship. How you communicate and build trust during this time will have a big impact on the stability of your relationship in the future.
Because this is a time filled with joy and excitement, there are some important signs that are easy to overlook. Let's take a look at them together.
Five checkpoints found in long-lasting couples
So what exactly should you look for? Here are five common characteristics of healthy, long-lasting relationships.
1. Do you feel safe being your true self?
First, the most important thing is"Mental security"This is the feeling of being able to relax and be your true self without having to force yourself or try too hard to look good in front of others.
Do you have such an experience?
- If the reply to my message is a little slow, I get really anxious.
- In order to avoid being disliked, I end up refraining from expressing my true opinion
- Always checking other people's moods
If you don't have these kinds of experiences and feel like you can reveal all of yourself, including your weaknesses, in front of this person, that's a very good sign. This sense of security, like having a warm blanket wrapped around your heart, is the foundation for a long-lasting relationship.
2. Do you have similar "roots of values"?
We often hear people say that they have the same values, but this doesn't just mean that they have the same hobbies and interests.The "roots" of what you value in lifeIs important.
For example, it would be good if you could check the following points little by little in natural conversation.
- How to spend money:Do you want to save for the future or spend money to enjoy the present?
- Relationship with Family:Do you value your family very much or prefer an independent relationship?
- Attitude towards work:Do you want to pursue your career or focus on your personal life?
- How to interact with people:If someone is in trouble, is it natural to help them, or do you put yourself first?
Of course, everything doesn't have to match perfectly, but if these "roots" are significantly out of sync, it can become a huge source of stress later on.
3. Is there healthy communication?
Having fun chatting is great, but it's not enough. A lasting relationship requires"Healthy communication" allows you to discuss disagreements and slightly awkward topics.
In other words, whether or not you can have a "discussion." Rather than blaming the other person unilaterally or becoming emotional and remaining silent,
- Listen carefully to what the other person is saying (listening)
- Express your feelings by saying, "This is how I felt" (I-message)
- The two of you are willing to work together to find a solution
If you can have this kind of conversation with your partner, there is a high chance that you will be able to overcome any problems that arise in the future together.
4. Do you respect each other as individuals?
Feelings of love are important, but just as important"respect"Do you sincerely acknowledge the other person's strengths and efforts, and respect them as a person?
A relationship in which you can be happy for the other person's success as if it were your own, and support the other person when they take on new challenges, will have a very strong bond. On the other hand, if you notice from the beginning that your partner looks down on you or makes fun of you as a joke, you may need to be a little careful.
5. How do you deal with small differences and arguments?
No matter how close a couple is, they may have differences of opinion or small arguments. The important thing is not to avoid arguments,How to make up after a fight.
When a problem arises, the turning point is whether you can face it together as "problem vs us" rather than building a wall between you and creating a "you vs me" conflict.
As the saying goes, "rain makes the earth firm," and overcoming small conflicts can actually deepen a relationship. If you've had such experiences since the beginning of your relationship, it's proof that you two are building a very good relationship.
A comment from the author
While writing this article, I realized that relationships are like health and money management in that there is no special magic to them, but rather it's the accumulation of small daily acts of kindness and effort that are important. Rather than searching for the perfect partner, being aware of the points in this article and "nurturing" a wonderful relationship together may lead to a happy future.
This article is based on the following original articles and is summarized from the author's perspective:
What To Look For In The Beginning Of A Relationship To Know
If It'll Last